OK, you get your "Friday WTF?" story early (mostly because I'm going to be unconnected to the 'net tomorrow).

Here's a doozy. A guy in Poland gets pulled over for DUI, reeking of vodka. What is his defense?

A Polish former MP has escaped a drink driving ban after telling cops he had only been using vodka as mouth wash.

Grzegorz Gruszka was arrested after being pulled over by police in a routine check and failing a breath test.

He was acquitted after he told prosecutors he had not actually swallowed any alcohol, and had only rinsed his mouth with "jogobelka" - a popular local mixture of vodka and mustard.

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You've got to love the unbelievable variety of unique animals that roam the Australian countryside.

I mean, just look at the choppers on this puppy:

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Remember the Monty Python "Dead Parrot" Sketch? The one where John Cleese pounds the stiff deceased bird on the pet shop counter? "Hello Polly!!!!! Wakey, Wakey!!!! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you!"

Well here's story almost as funny but it's true. A woman in Missouri attacked a dog breeder with a stiff deceased dog!

"A woman angry that her new puppy had died pushed her way into a dog breeder's home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said.

The 33-year-old woman told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.

Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.

The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, citing police.

As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records."

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Many teenage girls feel pressured into sex: study

No, really? They had to do a study to figure that one out?

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Literally. He was forced to leave a tell-tale sign behind that linked him to the crime:

Police found the finger end stuck between two toppled gravestones in the cemetery in Fleming, New York state.

Officers, who say a total of 53 headstones were knocked over, later arrested a man missing a finger.

He has been charged with criminal mischief, criminal trespass and cemetery desecration, reports 13WHAM-TV."

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