December 28, 2006

"Shut Up And Sing"? How About Just Go Away?

Can these twits take a hint?

Sixty-one days in release and the Dixie Chicks' documentary has only managed to rake in just a bit over $1 million bones.

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I love that poster with the photo of George W. Bush with that look of annoyance on his face. Yeah, right. Bush probably doesn't even know who they are.

Here's a group who was able to do something few musicians are able to do. They found a unique sound and gained an audience. But they never understood their audience. Then, after alienating said audience, they shrug it off with the attitude that the people who made them rich are just a bunch of ignorant hicks. And they're victims now.

Please.

So now they make a movie that reinforces that fact that not only do they really have nothing to say, but it appears that no one is interested in hearing it. My guess is that it'll ultimately double it's meager gross through DVD sales, which will probably be purchased by a bunch of elitist Bush-hating moonbats who - up until the big "controversy" - wouldn't have given the Chicks the time of day because they were dubbed "country" musicians.

And maybe some Canadians.

And Laura Ingraham, who coined the phrase that the Chicks stole for their title, won't even see a dime from it.

I love how the budget is not disclosed on the gross receipts report. Must be too humiliating to admit.

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December 27, 2006

Chevy Chase On Ford

I almost hasten to categorize this post under "celebrities" because I think in Chase's case it's a bit of a stretch.

In a Reuters story with the headline "30 Years Later, Chevy Chase Calls Ford 'Terrific Guy', they saw fit to include a quote that really has no place in the story:

"He had never been elected period, so I never felt that he deserved to be there to begin with," the actor said about Ford, who died on Tuesday at age 93. "That was just the way I felt then as a young man and as a writer and a liberal."
Now let's look at the utter absurdity of this statement.

Under the 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution (that's the main document outlining our Federal government, Chevy), the Vice-President is next in line to succeed a President who dies, becomes incapacitated or resigns from office. Richard Nixon resigned from office. Gerald Ford was Vice-President at the time. You do the math.

The fact that Ford hadn't been elected Vice-President is not the point. His appointment was approved by a majority of the members of Congress (both chambers then controlled by Democrats). What would Chevy have preferred? President Spiro Agnew? He was elected Vice-President, after all. Or maybe Chevy thinks that Ford should have also resigned (not having been elected and all) and allowed the Speaker of the House to assume the Presidency. That would have been Democrat Carl Albert. Of course, Albert had merely been elected Speaker by a majority of the members of the House, as opposed to both chambers. But he was a Democrat, right?

No, Chevy Chase understands the rules of succession just fine. Despite the fact that Ford - a gracious man - was always kind to Chase despite the fun (and the early career boost) he got at the former President's expense, I think there's a little something else behind that particular comment.

What probably steamed Chevy Chase about Ford at the time - and probably still does - is the fact that he pardoned Nixon. I'm sure that "as a young man and as a writer and a liberal", Chase was kicking himself that Nixon wasn't publicly drawn and quartered over Watergate. The irony is that while Nixon was a Republican, he was by no means a Conservative. But what's a silly label when you're part of an evil political party?

Plus, it's hard to pass up an opportunity to undermine the legitimacy of a Republican President. Ain't it, Chevy?

I'm reminded of a scene from "Caddyshack" when Chase's Ty Webb pulls aside Judge Smails (brilliantly played by Ted Knight, a real comic talent) to tell him "You know, Judge. My dad...never liked you."

Somehow I can't help but think that when Chevy Chase muses "We kept in touch and he was just a terrific guy" that he is in fact just kidding himself and that Ford...never really like him. Though Ford was too much of a gentleman to let him know that.

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December 06, 2006

Dear.God.Please.NO!

Paris Hilton wants to have kids:

Paris Hilton says she wants to have children — soon.

The partying heiress says that hanging around with her new best friend, Britney Spears, and Spears' two tykes has made her want to reproduce.

“It’s been my dream to have four babies by 30,” the 25-year-old heiress announced, reports Life & Style Weekly. And Hilton thinks she’s highly qualified for motherhood, explaining: “I look after animals, so I’d have a lot to give my kids.”

GO AWAY! Far away.

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September 08, 2006

Quote Of The Day

"I wanted to have an In-N-Out Burger."
- Paris Hilton on her recent
DUI arrest.

OK, I'm not even going to touch that one.

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September 07, 2006

Captain Kirk Opts Out Of Space Ride Offer

William Shatner was offered a ticket as one of the first passenger's to travel on Virgin Galactic's two-and-a-half hour space flight scheduled for 2008. His response was priceless:

"I'm interested in man's march into the unknown but to vomit in space is not my idea of a good time. Neither is a fiery crash with the vomit hovering over me."
And on that note, more Trek fun.

Star Trek "Cribs" at the "Spock Casa":

h/t: Jonah Goldberg

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September 06, 2006

Oh, For The Love Of God!

You see this?

suris poop.jpg

Yes, it's a sculpture of the first turd squeezed out by the spawn of TomKat!

Here's the caption to this A/P gem:

This photo released by the Capla Kesting Gallery in August 2006 shows a sculpture purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri Cruise's first bowel movement. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes finally put Hollywood at ease by publishing the first photo of their daughter Suri, four months after her birth, in Vanity Fair magazine's October issue.
I don't know about you but this doesn't put me at ease. Not in the least! It freaking creeps me out!

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September 04, 2006

Crikey.....

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Steve Irwin, naturalist, environmentalist and TV presenter, was born on February 22, 1962. He died on September 4, 2006, aged 44.

STEVE IRWIN, who has died during underwater filming aged 44 after a stingray barb pierced his heart, was known through his documentaries on the cable TV channel Animal Planet to some 500 million people in more than 120 countries. As the exuberant, golden-haired, khaki-wearing and apparently fearless Crocodile Hunter, he got very close to — and even wrestled — numerous apex predators. His unscripted narration was punctuated with “Crikey!” and “ Look at this beauty!” Many called him a thrill seeker, but he called himself a wildlife warrior. He was in fact a highly knowledgeable natural historian, whose mission was to educate people by enthusing them. “If you can’t get wilds into people’s hearts”, he said, “then we haven’t got a hope in heck of saving them — because people don’t want to save something they don’t know.”


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Irwin owned land in Australia, Vanuatu, Fiji and the US. He was a fan of Essendon in the Australian Football League, and loved mixed martial arts competitions. He supported the conservative Liberal Party, and once described the Prime Minister, John Howard, as the “greatest leader in the entire world”. Howard returned the favour on hearing of Irwin’s death, calling him “the genuine article . . . he took risks, he enjoyed life, but he brought immense joy to millions of people, particularly to children”. Among Irwin’s legacies is Elseya irwini, a new type of snapping turtle he discovered on the coast of Queensland. He was named Tourism Export of the Year in 2004.

Condolences can be left on Animal Planet's website

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August 01, 2006

Scarlett's "Girls" Are Number One

Scarlett Johansson, the girl with the golden globes, has made the top of the list for Bestest Chest.

Scarletts girls.jpg

The rising young actress, who recently announced that she has named her lovely jomblies, has become a fast favorite here at the Ex-Donkey Blog. I would actually be willing to sit through "The Island" again just to see all those scenes of her bursting out of her costumes.

h/t: AgentBedHead

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June 21, 2006

Angelina Not Above Asking Republicans For Money

Luscious-lipped movie star, Angelina Jolie, says she's willing to even...gasp...talk to Republicans to raise money for her pet causes. Now that's what I call a "goodwill ambassador".

In her native America, the TOMB RAIDER star approaches both Republicans and Democrats in her bid to raise awareness of humanitarian crises in countries such as Sudan. Speaking on CNN, Jolie says, "You have to speak to every person individually. Honesty works. Just because you're a Republican doesn't mean you don't care about children."
Gee, isn't that big of her? I'm so glad she's out there clearing this up.

Here's a little clue, hon: Look at the chart below.

charity rises.jpg

That's right, charitable giving in the U.S. is at its highest level - ever. You think those are all Democrats comprising that number? Think again. Sure there a lot of rich Democrats in there - from Hollywood to the Upper West Side - but generally speaking Democrats are only generous with other people's money; namely, the taxpayer's money.

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June 15, 2006

When Celebrity Gossip Borders On The Ridiculous

Or in this case, ventures completely beyond the borders of ridiculous.

Britney Spears apparently...gasp...got down on the floor in a Victoria's Secret store and...double gasp...changed her 8-month old's diaper!!!

Good God, where is the DCFS when you need them?!?!?

The singer was shopping in Mission Viejo, Calif., on June 4, where she purchased some pink g-string underwear with 8-month-old son Sean Preston in tow.

The tot needed to have his diaper changed and the 24-year-old plopped him down on the floor next to the cash register.

A shocked sales associate recalls, "We don't have the cleanest floors. She just put him down and changed his diaper and then handed it to a sales clerk saying, 'Can you throw this away for us?'

"We told her that we couldn't put that in our trash."

Look, the floor of a retail store is not the ideal place to change a diaper. But what are the chances that a Victoria's Secret store has baby-changing stations in their rest rooms? Come to think of it, do they actually let the general public go to the rest room in a Victoria's Secret?

My guess is that little Sean Preston's diaper was so full of pee that it was practically leaking and while being rung up for the G-strings, Spears placed (not "plopped") her son down to give him a quick change because there wasn't anywhere else better to do it. God knows if she did it on a bench or somewhere else outside the store, she would have been surrounded by gawkers and stalking paparazzi. It probably took no more than a minute. Believe me, after eight months of changing diapers, you become quite skilled at doing it in a flash.

But the funniest part of this whole episode is the sale clerk - probably some high-falutin' tight-assed bee-yotch whose never been closer than a hundred yards to a wet diaper.

"We don't have the cleanest floors", indeed. Gimme a break. I'm sure the floor was cleaner than the baby's butt was. What probably got her panties in a bunge was the fact that she had to actually witness the process of baby being changed. God forbid!

I always get a laugh when someone cringes at a wet diaper, like it's filled with some kind of toxic waste. You can wrap those little suckers up into a neat, dry wad secured by the velcro straps and it's no bigger than a baseball. Your not going to get some kind of infection if you just take it and toss it in the garbage. Get over yourself lady!

Cheer up, Britney. You're going to have to deal with this kind of crap for years to come. Hopefully, she's keeping her sense of humor. Otherwise, she'll lose her mind.

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May 12, 2006

Scarlett Names Her Boobs

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Yes, she has a pet name for them.

Scarlett Johansson has revealed her pet name for her boobs is "My Girls".

The Match Point actress said: "I like my body and face and I love my breasts - 'My Girls'."

The actress also revealed she is not looking forward to getting old uses anti-ageing cream.

According to The Sun she added: "I never want to look like an old bag".

I've got pet names for them, too: "just" and "right".

The 21-year-old actress has a while yet before she has to worry about getting old. But sooner or later, we'll be looking at two old bags. In the meantime, however, she probably ought to be spending her time working on her acting skills.

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March 16, 2006

Jessica Simpson Does The Right Thing

The head-turning actress was invited to attend a gala fundraiser for the National Republican Congressional Committee but she, regretfully, declined.

The blond star of the film "The Dukes of Hazzard" still plans to visit Washington on Thursday to lobby members of Congress on behalf of Operation Smile, a non-profit venture offering free plastic surgery for disadvantaged children overseas with facial deformities.

People close to Simpson said she declined a request to appear that same evening at the gala fund-raiser of the National Republican Congressional Committee -- even after she was offered some private face time with Bush -- because Operation Smile is a non-partisan group.

"It just feels wrong," one Simpson insider told Reuters on Wednesday, adding that the actress keeps her political views private. "She would love to meet the president and talk about Operation Smile ... but she can't do it at a fund-raiser for the Republican Party."

Conservatives like myself are often quick to complain when Left-wing actors use their celebrity to promote the Democrat Party. Let's be consistent here. In my opinion, Simpson used something in this situation that you don't see very often in Hollywood: good judgment.

Promoting a worthy cause like Operation Smile is commendable. And identifying with one party of the other isn't a big deal. But when a celebrity is out their shilling for their party of choice, that's just tacky. We expect entertainment out of these folks, not preaching.

And, honestly, just appearing at a party fundraiser doesn't even come close to the kind of in-your-face political shenanigans that so many Liberal celebrities engage in. But Simpson didn't want to potentially taint the non-partisan nature of the cause she is supporting. Good for her.

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March 09, 2006

Sharon Stone Naked In Four Weeks

If that post title doesn't spark your interest, nothing will.

But it's true. Sharon Stone has confirmed that she does in fact appear nude in "Basic Instinct 2" which opens March 31.

Now, this should be interesting because Stone, 48 years young, is not quite the hot siren we saw in the original "Basic Instinct" of fourteen years ago (go watch the Quicktime trailer at Apple.com and see for yourself). I don't mean to say she looks bad or anything but will the prospect of seeing a more...ahem...mature Ms. Stone in her birthday suit be one of the major factors driving the box office numbers? Because from the preview the film looks awful.

Will the film get a candidate for Best Make-up? Or can Sharon still knock our socks off? We shall see.

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March 07, 2006

And In The Event Of An Emergency...

PamA.jpg

They can be used as a flotation device.

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March 06, 2006

Someone Needs To Explain The Concept Of "Spellcheck" To Barbra

Define irony.

Barbra Streisand makes the following list of spelling errors in one moonbat rant (a personal best):

• curruption
• dictatoriship
• crediblity
• Adminstration
• warrented
• desperatly
• preceedings
• ouside
• subpoening
• responsibilty

And the rant in question mocks President Bush as a "C" student.

h/t: Drudge

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February 24, 2006

Yech!

Val Kilmer photographed making out with Paris Hilton. He looks like some homeless guy!

H/T to Steve the Llamabutcher via Lawren at Martinis, Persistance & A Smile. I think I'm going to need a martini after that one.

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February 06, 2006

Some Hobbits Have All The Luck

"Lost" stars Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly are apparently engaged.

dmonaghan.jpg

That lucky BAHstard! Good for him.

hat tip: MFSIL

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January 18, 2006

Golden Globes

Not the awards show, I'm mean these babies right here:

Scarlett Golden Globes.jpg

If they had an award for "Best Rack", Scarlett Johansson would win hands down.

"...and you know what I'm talking about!" - HRC

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December 26, 2005

Vincent Schiavelli (1948-2005)

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You've seen seen him countless times in many popular films. Most often he was referred to as "that creepy looking guy in the subway scene of 'Ghost'".

Today, Vincent Schiavelli died of lung cancer. Of all the characters he played, my personal favorite was the science teacher with the hot wife in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High", Mr. Vargas. Who can forget the immortal line:

"Listen, I just switched to Sanka this morning. So...have a heart?"

Later in the film he has a memorable scene actually holding a human heart.

He was 57 years old. R.I.P.

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December 05, 2005

Ron Silver Coins A Phrase

In an interview published in the NY Times, actor Ron Silver was asked about his current beef with the Democrat Party. He said:

"The Democratic Party is becoming the tool of an extreme domestic leftist insurgency led by the Michael Moores and the Cindy Sheehans and other neoreactionary, neoisolationist Americans."

Neoreactionary. I like that. Nowadays, you hear a lot about Neoconservatives (or NeoCons). But this is particularly applicable, because Democrats are the new reactionaries. They're against everything, they say "no" to everything (except defeat) and they fight vigorously to block any kind of reform. In the old days, conservatives were considered to be reactionaries.

Interesting how things change. How would we abbreviate that? NeoWrecks, maybe?

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