June 21, 2006

Angelina Not Above Asking Republicans For Money

Luscious-lipped movie star, Angelina Jolie, says she's willing to even...gasp...talk to Republicans to raise money for her pet causes. Now that's what I call a "goodwill ambassador".

In her native America, the TOMB RAIDER star approaches both Republicans and Democrats in her bid to raise awareness of humanitarian crises in countries such as Sudan. Speaking on CNN, Jolie says, "You have to speak to every person individually. Honesty works. Just because you're a Republican doesn't mean you don't care about children."
Gee, isn't that big of her? I'm so glad she's out there clearing this up.

Here's a little clue, hon: Look at the chart below.

charity rises.jpg

That's right, charitable giving in the U.S. is at its highest level - ever. You think those are all Democrats comprising that number? Think again. Sure there a lot of rich Democrats in there - from Hollywood to the Upper West Side - but generally speaking Democrats are only generous with other people's money; namely, the taxpayer's money.

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June 15, 2006

When Celebrity Gossip Borders On The Ridiculous

Or in this case, ventures completely beyond the borders of ridiculous.

Britney Spears apparently...gasp...got down on the floor in a Victoria's Secret store and...double gasp...changed her 8-month old's diaper!!!

Good God, where is the DCFS when you need them?!?!?

The singer was shopping in Mission Viejo, Calif., on June 4, where she purchased some pink g-string underwear with 8-month-old son Sean Preston in tow.

The tot needed to have his diaper changed and the 24-year-old plopped him down on the floor next to the cash register.

A shocked sales associate recalls, "We don't have the cleanest floors. She just put him down and changed his diaper and then handed it to a sales clerk saying, 'Can you throw this away for us?'

"We told her that we couldn't put that in our trash."

Look, the floor of a retail store is not the ideal place to change a diaper. But what are the chances that a Victoria's Secret store has baby-changing stations in their rest rooms? Come to think of it, do they actually let the general public go to the rest room in a Victoria's Secret?

My guess is that little Sean Preston's diaper was so full of pee that it was practically leaking and while being rung up for the G-strings, Spears placed (not "plopped") her son down to give him a quick change because there wasn't anywhere else better to do it. God knows if she did it on a bench or somewhere else outside the store, she would have been surrounded by gawkers and stalking paparazzi. It probably took no more than a minute. Believe me, after eight months of changing diapers, you become quite skilled at doing it in a flash.

But the funniest part of this whole episode is the sale clerk - probably some high-falutin' tight-assed bee-yotch whose never been closer than a hundred yards to a wet diaper.

"We don't have the cleanest floors", indeed. Gimme a break. I'm sure the floor was cleaner than the baby's butt was. What probably got her panties in a bunge was the fact that she had to actually witness the process of baby being changed. God forbid!

I always get a laugh when someone cringes at a wet diaper, like it's filled with some kind of toxic waste. You can wrap those little suckers up into a neat, dry wad secured by the velcro straps and it's no bigger than a baseball. Your not going to get some kind of infection if you just take it and toss it in the garbage. Get over yourself lady!

Cheer up, Britney. You're going to have to deal with this kind of crap for years to come. Hopefully, she's keeping her sense of humor. Otherwise, she'll lose her mind.

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