June 07, 2006
"Horror film fan Suzanne Cooper yesterday named her baby Damien after the devil child in the The Omen, who was also born on June 6.You know it's one thing to have to live up to a famous name like "Elvis" or "Shania", but for crying out loud has this woman actually thought this through? This kid's going to be in therapy for his whole miserable life.
Suzanne went one better than the movie by hitting the full Number of the Beast with the date - 6/6/06.
Special needs teacher Suzanne, 36, was also induced for six days before Damien arrived at 6.59am, tipping the scales at a spine-chilling 6lb 6oz.
She said: "We are overjoyed about the baby. The Omen is one of our favourite films and that's why I was keeping my legs crossed for a birth on the 6th."
Until today, the stupidest baby name I'd ever heard was when Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter "Apple". But this moron takes the "Asshat of the Week" award, hands down.
February 17, 2006
Hans-Juergen Bendt, 52, from Darmstadt, lodged a complaint about his dealer with police after he sold him seven ounces of "completely un-enjoyable" hash.It was clear that the guy was really "bummed" over the whole matter because he told the officer that the dope in question was of "absolutely mediocre quality". Absolutely, dude.
Bendt complained the dealer refused to refund him the Â£270 he had paid for the drugs.
Naturally, the police ignored the complaint and arrested Bendt for illegal purchase and possession. Maybe the guy thought he was in Holland. Then again, maybe what he scored turned out to be a lot more potent than he thought.
Say it with me folks: DUMB...ASS!
February 16, 2006
Look, I don't smoke. I can't stand the smell of smoke, even on a person. Frankly, it makes me want to hurl. As far as I'm concerned, with all the information we have today anyone still willing to ingest cigarette smoke into their body is a fool. But, hey, it's their body.
I have to say, though, that this law is complete idiocy. Outside? For crying out loud. You've got to be kidding me. Where does it end?
Hello? People are still going to smoke no matter what you do. Comedian Denis Leary once said that you could put the cigarettes in a black package with a skull and cross-bones on front and call them "Tumors" and people will still be lined up around the block to get their hands on those things.
This is government intrusion into personal lives gone amok. Shame on the citizens of Calabasas, CA for letting this happen.
October 21, 2005
Problem is, he wrote the note on one of his pay stubs. He figured that since he crossed off his name and address with a marker, he was OK. However, unlike this idiot, the authorities actually used some common sense and tracked him down.
"It wasn't a huge forensic undertaking," Steven Moran, Bensalem director of public safety, said Wednesday. "We just put it under a light."Congratulations, moron. You're the "Asshat of the week"!
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