February 27, 2006
More than 500 people -- some who had arrived before noon -- showed up for the 4 p.m. giveaway but walked away empty-handed. Joe Canada, an artist from Novato, spoke to the crowd for about an hour but drove away before he or any of his 20 volunteers could hand out any bills. The size of the crowd might have intimidated him, police said.He better not show his face, that is, unless he has Mr. Hunt's 10 bucks.
"There were too many people," Sgt. Anthony Manfreda said. "He just got spooked."
The crowd saw Canada pulling away in his truck on Polk Street and began walking quickly toward the truck. The volunteers headed the people off and convinced them to return to the area near the entrance to the Civic Center underground parking lot.
The crowd began cursing and yelling at Canada and his volunteers.
"This was just a great big joke on us," Steve Hunt said. "He better not show his face here again."
Local liquor store owners were also excited at the prospect of racking up some $5,000 in sales for the evening only to be disappointed by the artist's sudden departure.
February 24, 2006
According to The Sun he tells drivers: "In 400 metres you have reached your f***ing destination."I can think of some others that would be pretty funny. How cool would it be if they used Mike Myer's voice doing Fat Bastard?
If a car loses its signal he shouts: "I've lost the f***ing satellite!"
Chris Hilton, boss of manufacturers Voice Skins, said: "Ozzy's voice comes in two versions - with swearwords or bleeps. He is the top choice by far."
Sharon is the next-best seller. She gives instructions like: "Turn around, a***hole."
Other voices available include Clint Eastwood, The Queen and Tony Blair who says: "At the end of the road, congestion charge. Bloody Ken Livingstone."
February 21, 2006
[Paul] Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.So who's crazier? The guy who commits homicide with a claw hammer or the one who brandishes the rifle in the first place? It's only toilet paper, guys! You could always just use a copy of the New York Times.
Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.
February 20, 2006
Never would have guessed.
February 17, 2006
"Eva is one of France's most accomplished young actresses, now receiving international acclaim," producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli said Thursday in a statement. "She brings to the complex role of Vesper an exciting combination of enigmatic and seductive beauty."Ahem. Guys, the audiences for these films don't want to pay good money to see some "accomplished young actress" that looks like the angel of death! They want hot babes that look good in tight-fitting costumes and can credibly look like they know how to shoot a gun.
Does the script for "Casino Royale" call for a Goth chick or something? I had to reduce the picture size because she's so ghastly. What the hell has this franchise come to? First a blonde Bond, now this?
The movie takes place on the Riviera, right? Well, if she's got to be French, I'd like to offer a much more palatable alternative:
Hey, you want a Bond girl? Tune in tomorrow for the "80's Crush Of The Week" and I'll show you a real Bond girl.
UPDATE - 4:00pm:
In the meantime, they've also announced the new actress to play Lara Croft: Tomb Raider:
Oh yeah, THAT'S more like it. Guess which ticket I'm gonna buy? Face it, Lara Croft is the new James Bond.
Hans-Juergen Bendt, 52, from Darmstadt, lodged a complaint about his dealer with police after he sold him seven ounces of "completely un-enjoyable" hash.It was clear that the guy was really "bummed" over the whole matter because he told the officer that the dope in question was of "absolutely mediocre quality". Absolutely, dude.
Bendt complained the dealer refused to refund him the Ã‚Â£270 he had paid for the drugs.
Naturally, the police ignored the complaint and arrested Bendt for illegal purchase and possession. Maybe the guy thought he was in Holland. Then again, maybe what he scored turned out to be a lot more potent than he thought.
Say it with me folks: DUMB...ASS!
February 13, 2006
According to an unnamed eyewitness, Dick Cheney had his shotgun trained on a covey of quail when his hunting partner, Harry Whittington, decided to have a little fun. Faking an exaggerated sneeze, Whittington scared off the game depriving Cheney of his kill. Now if Dick Cheney's wrath had been such that he wanted Whittington dead, he would have simply strangled him with his penis.
No, the Vice-President merely intended to send Whittington a message: You don't f**k with Dick Cheney.
Where credit is due...
Bless my soul, Al Franken lapsed back into "funny" mode today:
Now, I imagine that Cheney and the President have hunted together. What would have happened if Cheney had shot the President? I think if he shot Bush this way, Bush isn't 78 and he's in pretty good shape, and he's kinda macho. I think he would've gotten up and shot Cheney back. And I think they would've started blasting each other like in a Tarrantino movie.
February 10, 2006
A bankobber was left empty-handed when he turned up ten minutes late and found the branch had already closed for the day.How much you wanna bet this guy ends up getting caught because of his own stupidity?
Staff at the Podravska Bank in Zagreb, Croatia, told police they were just getting ready to go home when they heard the doors rattling and saw a masked man holding a gun trying to get in.
Police spokesman Davor Tor said: "Most banks here open until 7pm but this robber obviously picked the wrong branch.
"Staff said even though he was wearing a mask they could tell from his movements that he was very confused to find the bank wasn't open."
Police are looking for the robber and say if caught he will be charged with attempted armed robbery.
February 07, 2006
It's called "Turn On" and it promises to make the person who drinks it...um, good to go.
The soda was banned in France and Denmark, but makers insist it is safe and works as an aphrodisiac.I'm a little skeptical here. It's probably more of a psychological effect than anything else. Wonder what the tester would have said if what they gave them was real cherry soda? Still, if you're thinking of trying it you might want to give it to the dog first. And if he does the "Wild Thing" on your leg...well, you know the rest.
People who have tested the soda said it tastes like cherry soda.
"We watched a film and then afterwards I felt like my senses were more like turned on, like I could feel more, I felt more on my skin," a tester said.
Doctors have already warned that the drink is not for everyone. Children, pregnant women and people with high blood pressure and diabetes should avoid the drink, according to the report.
A warning label on the can claims, "This beverage will arouse you."
February 03, 2006
And this is REAL, too! Raised by a German breeder named Hans Wagner (he's the guy in the photo), the bunny - named German Giant - is more than three feet tall when standing on his hind feet.
How did German Giant get so big?Looks more like he actually ate his brothers and sisters! I mean, its head is almost as big as Herr Wagner's! Sheesh!
Â“I donÂ’t feed him an unusual diet,Â” said Wagner. Â“He goes through more than his brothers and sisters, but he eats the same food mix. His favorite food is actually lettuce. He can never get enough of it.Â”
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