Well, we got the tree last weekend, but I wanted make damn sure the thing was still fully alive before I put anything on it. So by mid-week, the tree was taking water and I made preparations to give it the big makeover this weekend.

Now a Christmas Tree is like a woman. Every one is different and you really have to evaluate them carefully before you decide how you're going to approach them. Now take this one:

She's short, squat, full in the front and round in the back. Not unlike a young lady I once dated. Hopefully the tree won't be as difficult to handle.

But by just looking it over, I figure I'm going to use a little less lighting than normal. So it's time to rig the lights. And damn me, if every strand doesn't have a couple of bulbs out. Of course, I didn't bother to pick up any more strands or replacement bulbs so I'll have to canabalize one strand for replacements. Luckily for me I'll have one to spare with this baby.

OK, so the lights are up.

Wait, what are those nasty orange blobs on the tree? Well, they're these ugly wicker stars with bulbs in them. The wife figured I didn't have enough work to do stringing lights together. So she stopped by the Christmas Tree Shop (and no, I don't just love a bargain) a couple years back and picked these up. Actually, they're more yellow but my crappy digital camera doesn't pick up that nuance.

Now what? Well, step two is putting on these pearly-pink, gay-ass strings of beads. I really hate these because you're supposed to "drape" them over the tree so they look "natural". What exactly does that mean? I don't know, but my wife tells me when it looks right. She's not home right now, so this is what will be waiting for her when she gets home:

I once suggested to the wife another use for the beads, which was sounding rejected. But, hey, you don't get what you don't ask for.

Now that this much is done, it's her party. She puts on the rest of the stuff. So until tomorrow, you'll just have to wait to see what our little tree looks like with all the trimmings. This year my nine-year old wants to be more involved. Should be interesting.

Posted by: Gary at 06:00 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 I never cared for those bead doobie things either, but if I had to have them they would be RED not pink. But your tree looks nice so far! Want to come decorate mine? Oh wait, I don't even have one yet! :shock:

Posted by: GroovyVic at December 04, 2005 08:30 AM (mODkx)

2 that's what it looks like here (outside, I mean). http://rightwingnation.com/index.php/2005/12/04/518/

Posted by: rightwingprof at December 04, 2005 10:53 AM (/IE5Q)

3 Very good job, Gary. Can't wait to see it in person in a few weeks. But, I think you're going to have to tell mfsil that she is surrounded by four MALES, and at some point, she may lose out on the pink thing. Especially since you manly men go hunt it down and kill it before stuffing and displaying it in the house...

Posted by: Georgia Girl at December 04, 2005 10:36 PM (M2L+3)

4 P.S. I hope you feel better soon.

Posted by: Georgia Girl at December 04, 2005 10:41 PM (M2L+3)

5 I had to laugh at your comments about the beads...but the tree looks quite nice. And you are to be commended for all of your hard work! My husband helps me put it up in the stand (we usually end up in an argument during the proceedings) and then I have to string up the lights and everything else. Your wife is quite lucky!!!

Posted by: Pam at December 05, 2005 10:39 AM (rx9LD)

6 You guys are the 28836 best, thanks so much for the help.

Posted by: Caty Tota at June 16, 2006 08:53 PM (lY1Pk)

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