January 19, 2007

Happy Friday

Melissa is excited about the move...


"I cahn't wait to spend more time with zee cute fuzzy Llamas!"

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That's So High School

MSNBC/Newsweek's Howard Fineman has a fun column up this morning where he compares the current posturing of Democrat 2008 hopefuls to silly high school intrigue.

At the end he gets in a nice dig at Shrillary:

"[Hillary Clinton] was impressively presidential in her studious, almost censorious, way—carefully attired in deep red, her tone competent, severe and ready to take on all comers.

Yet she also was the kid we know from high school: the one who claims to be the only “adult” in the 11th grade. Sometimes they are cheered. Sometimes they are booed. Sometimes—and this is the worst fate—they get laughed at silently."


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January 18, 2007


According to a FoxNews poll, when asked if they personally wanted the Iraq plan that President Bush recently announced to succeed (question #19) 49% of registered Democrats responded either "No" or "I Don't Know".

Hugh Hewitt says it best:

I would love to hear why losing in Iraq would be in the national interest. And I would love to hear the humanitarian justification for leaving BaghdadÂ’s civilians to the tender mercies of the murderous militias and terrorists that stalk that city.

And I would also love to hear Democratic leaders respond to these poll numbers. But I wonÂ’t hold my breath.

But don't you dare question their patriotism.

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The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Listen, guys. Valentine's Day will be here before you know it. So if you're stumped for gifts this year, this clip from SNL may inspire, so...

One particular word makes it NSFW, so if you have headphones this would be time to use them.

h/t: Nick Schweitzer

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Why I Don't Get "American Idol"

OK, I'll admit that I've come late to the table for successful shows in the past and ended up kicking myself for not signing on sooner. The best example of this is "24", where this season is the first one I've actually watched as it's first being broadcast.

But I have to say that I really don't understand why so many viewers are compelled to tune into "American Idol" week after week to watch what - IMO - is nothing more than a version of "The Gong Show" that actually takes itself seriously.

It almost seems that there are two kind of TV viewers in the world - those who enjoy watching other people being embarrassed and humiliated and those (like myself) who not only take little pleasure in this but actually feel a certain level of discomfort in watching things that have such a high degree of "the wince factor".

To me, that's what "American Idol" is all about. And I really don't get people who like this sort of thing. Yes, in the end there is an excitement about the competition of the finalists and the eventual winner. Viewers seem to pick contestants like horses and root for them for as long as they're in the race. But if that's the really satisfying part, why not just start with the finalists - those who clearly have the talent to make the final cut? Why show the ones who by any objective standards have absolutely no qualifications to be in this competition. Just to torture them on national television? Do the people who select them to audition for Cowell and Co. have a streak of sadism in them that borders on the sociopathic?

Newsweek online has some observations from a correspondent that just earned the "AI" assignment who had never really watched it before. Here is part of his assessment:

'I was stunned by the show’s casual cruelty, and I’m not talking about Simon Cowell’s famous tongue-lashings. Obvious rejects—the sad, deluded, tone-deaf dreamers—were permitted to hang themselves for a full, painful minute or two, even though their awfulness stopped being funny after about 20 seconds. The first featured auditioner of the night, a sweet-looking blonde girl from Minnesota named Heather, who wasn’t awful—just ordinarily untalented—crumbled to her knees after the judges sent her packing and began begging, “Oh, please, please…,” then walked away sobbing. Watching her, I felt physically uncomfortable, like an uninvited guest in her house, invading her privacy. I kept thinking, “Which part of this is supposed to be fun?”'
He goes on to describe how rejected contestants are often shown trying to unsuccessfully push through the wrong door to escape this humiliation, as if to confirm the person's ineptitude. Sounds pretty awful to me.

Look, I don't mean to criticize the fans of the show. But for a while I was beginning to wonder whether or not I was being too harsh on "AI", not having really watched all that much of it. But the piece above kind of reinforces what I had suspected about the show - that the bulk of this phenomenon is centered on taking an hour out of one's week to stop and watch the talent show equivalent of a nasty car-wreck.

I'll continue to pass on this.

UPDATE 1/19/06:
Lorie Byrd offers another perspective on the early smackdowns:

"[Simon] Cowell is sometimes incredibly rude, but what makes him really different from most on television is that he tells people the hard truth as he sees it, without apology. Today childrenÂ’s sports are often played without keeping score, lest one team have to lose. In a world where it is not uncommon for each and every child on a sports team to get a trophy so that no one is made to feel left out, Cowell provides a breath of politically incorrect air. He reminds viewers that not only can everyone not win, but that everyone does not deserve to win."
Point taken. However, it doesn't make it any easier for me to watch.

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January 17, 2007

Reason No. 11,973 Why I Won't Get A Vasectomy

If it ain't foolproof, I will not allow sharp objects anywhere near my boys.

Surprise Chimp Born In Lousiana Sanctuary, despite all the males having been snipped!

Now managers at Chimp Haven are planning a paternity test for the seven males who lived in a group with Teresa, a wild-born chimpanzee in her late 40s who had the baby girl last week.

Workers have started collecting hair samples from the chimps for testing. Once they identify the father, it's back to the operating room for him.

The Chimp.jpg

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty humans!"

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Just When I Thought I Was Out...

...they pull me back in.

Last week, I announced the impending conclusion to the Ex-Donkey Blog. That hasn't changed, but at that time my future in the blogosphere was in limbo.

However, I'm pleased to announce that after intense negotiations (they generously asked, I gratefully accepted) that future is now clearer. Upon the formal moth-balling of this site in two weeks time, I will be signing on as an associate (if erratic) contributor to The Llama Butchers.

Steve and Robert have cleaned out one of the guest rooms at Orgle Manor for me with the only stipulation being that I have to clean my own bathroom. Actually, it's similar to an arrangement I made with my parents right after I graduated from college. I hope I'll be better about the bathroom thing this time around.


This is a welcome opportunity for me to continue to post when the urge strikes me without having the duties of maintaining my own site. It should be a blast. If you haven't already, update those bookmarks and links today.

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Bush To "Address" Global Warming In SOTU Speech

According to this report.

Well, unless he's going to say it's bullshit, whatever it is can't be good.

This is encouraging, however:

"It's not accurate. It's wrong," White House spokesman Tony Snow said regarding media reports suggesting that Bush would agree to mandatory emissions caps in an effort to combat global warming. Such caps could require energy conservation and pollution curbs.

"If you're talking about enforceable carbon caps, in terms of industry-wide and nation-wide, we knocked that down. That's not something we're talking about," Snow said...

..."We'll have a State of the Union address in a week and we'll lay out our policy on global warming," Snow said when asked whether British Prime Minister Tony Blair had persuaded Bush to agree to tougher action to combat global warming.

And, of course, another blatant lie from Al-Reuters:
U.S. allies such as Britain and Germany have pressed for a new global agreement on climate change to replace the Kyoto Protocol which expires in 2012. Bush withdrew the United States from the protocol in 2001, saying its targets for reducing carbon emissions would unfairly hurt the U.S. economy.
Kyoto was never ratified by the Senate, who voted it down 95 to ZERO in 1999 - under Clinton's watch. Bush simply called a spade and spade and spelled out why. You can't withdraw from a treaty you've never entered into.

He could easily have passed the buck to his predecessor and all those Senators, but that's not what leaders do.

The President did withdraw from the ABM treaty in 2001 (and rightly so since one of the parties no longer existed). So it could be that Al-Rueters is just being lazy. Either way, it's disgraceful reporting.

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January 15, 2007

Here's Irony For Ya...

I was out today much, much longer than I expected to be. Racing home with law-breaking speed I pulled into my driveway at exactly 8:01pm.

Just in time to see the "Previously, on 24..." clip.

And today is Talk Like Jack Bauer Day.

You can bet your bottom dollar I was talking like Jack Bauer from 7:30 on.


And for what it's worth, the writers of "24" just reaffirmed what I always knew about the show: NOTHING is off the table.

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Talk Like Jack Bauer Day

The following takes place between 10:00am and 10:05am.

I'm off from work, it's raining outside and the wife and kids are nagging for something to do. My name is Gary the Ex-Donkey. And this will be the longest day of my life.

But it's also Talk Like Jack Bauer Day.

You probably think I can't go a whole post talking like Jack Bauer. Well, you're wrong.

This morning I awoke to find orange juice on floor in front of the fridge. I immediately headed to the living room and tied my six-year old to one of the easy chairs with duct tape. I looked him in the eye and told him, "You're going to tell me what I want to know about that orange juice. It's just a matter of how much you want it to hurt."

No response.

"Tell me who you work for!" I yelled.

No response. It was then that I noticed that the Wiggles were on the television just over my shoulder. He hadn't heard a word I said.

My wife asked me what the hell I was doing. "Dammit, I don't have time for this", I screamed. "We need paper towels - NOW. Tell me where they are!"

She told me they were somewhere under the sink. I instructed her to upload the information to my PDA immediately. She just rolled her eyes and began peeling the duct tape off my son.

"Gary," she said. "Listen to me, we have to get these kids out of the house today or they'll drive us crazy."

"You think I don't know that?!?" I shot back. "Look, I think we should head over to the Maritime Center in Norwalk this afternoon. I know that the kids like sea creatures, so that should pacify them. I'm not sure if they're open today because of the holiday so I'm going to need you to hack into their mainframe and find out what their hours are. We don't have a lot of time. Do it NOW!"

I tended to the orange juice spill while she went logged onto her work station.

"Well?", I called to her. "Are they open?"

No response.

I raced into the computer room. "Dammit, tell me if they're open!"

"Yes, they're open. Normal hours." she said.

"You better pray that this information is correct. There are thousands of lives at stake. Not the least of which are yours and mine."

"Whatever, Gary." she said, "I'll start getting the kids ready".

"Do it fast!" I yelled, "We're running out of time!"





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January 12, 2007

Jack's Back!

Hold on to your seats. The new season of "24" is about to explode onto your TV.


I've seen all prior seasons only on DVD or through repeats shown on "A&E". And the most I've ever had to wait between episodes is one day.

Can I handle once a week? What choice to I have?

And I'm all the more "Jack"ed up to watch the show this season because of these guys.

Two-hour premiere Sunday night at 8pm on FOX (followed by two more episodes Monday night).

Jack Bauer kills a man with his jaws. Jack Bauer kicks ass!

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Now That's A Lot Of Pussy

big kitty.jpg

Meet Goliath! Egads.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

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This Is Just Wrong

Air Force Staff Sergeant Michelle Manhart poses nude for Playboy's February issue and is relieved of her duties.

Michelle Manhart.jpg

Aw, c'mon. This woman has put in thirteen years including service in Kuwait. She's a married mother of two.

And she's hot.

Gentlemen, I think we need to show some solidarity for Michelle. Let's make the February issue sold out by next week. Who's with me?

And for what it's worth, if you're a Battlestar Galactica fan Tricia Helfer is also featured in that issue. Just throwing that out there.

I have been to the mountaintop. And it is good. :wink:

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January 11, 2007

Chris Dodd Is Running For President

Per an announcement on the "Imus In The Morning" show. Don Imus is a friend of Dodd's and is probably the only person who really cares.

Chris Dodd is Joe Biden without the stunning personality.

I can visualize the conversation with his associate in the Senate later today: more...

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POTUS Speech

Didn't see the speech live. Read it this morning.

I don't have all the data about the current situation in Baghdad and Anbar Provence (few do). But it strikes the right tone in my mind.

Implementing this plan offers no guaranty of victory, but the Democrats' alternative can only guaranty defeat. It's the only thing they understand.

As far as I'm concerned, only one of these choices is acceptable. Give our men and women what they need, remove the unnecessary restrictions on the rules of engagement and let them do their job. Period.

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January 10, 2007

The Long Goodbye

It always used to annoy me a little when a favorite blogger of mine would suddenly shut down operations and post some lame, last-minute “so long, and thanks for all the fishes” address to their readership – just out of the blue. It’s kind of like someone you know hopping a plane and leaving a note or email behind without saying a proper goodbye. I don’t begrudge their decision to stop blogging. I just consider it kind of rude to scram without even giving a heads-up. So in the spirit of not wanting to be rude (a first for me), I’m giving you all a few weeks notice.

Effective February 1, 2007, I will cease posting to the Ex-Donkey Blog. No, IÂ’m not kidding.

Why, you might ask? Well, the reasons are many and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on them. That’s why the title of this post is “The Long Goodbye.” I’ve written it and rewritten it and tweaked it and rewritten it again for some time now, trying to express myself as accurately as possible without being overly sentimental. Also, the goodbye isn’t final for another few weeks.

So, if you care to, sit back, grab your favorite adult beverage of choiceÂ…and read onÂ… more...

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January 09, 2007

The Wrestling Match You'd Like To See

Rosie O'Doughnuts v. The Donald:

Go on, click on it. You know you want to.

h/t: HotAir

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There's A New Lawyer In Town

Now the reason for Harriet Miers' sudden departure is clearer. In anticipation of the blizzard of Congressional inquiries, President Bush needs a seasoned pro who can keep their partisan shenanigans to a minimum. Meet Fred Fielding.

Really, with Bush's override-proof veto power and a one-seat majority in the Senate, the Dems are going to have a pretty difficult time passing any kind of meaningful legislation. So the next two years are going to amount to merely impeding and harrassing the President wherever and whenever possible.

That's where Fielding comes in:

It's hard to imagine a more experienced choice than Mr. Fielding on the subject of executive power. As deputy White House counsel from 1972 to 1974, he witnessed the modern low tide of Presidential authority as Richard Nixon was besieged by Watergate. And as Ronald Reagan's counsel from 1981 to 1986, he had to cope with a Democratic House that unleashed special prosecutors on the executive branch.

The "independent counsel" law has happily expired, but this Congress will be looking to assert itself in particular on war powers. Mr. Fielding understands the importance of fighting off such poaching--for the sake of Mr. Bush and the Office of the Presidency. This ought to mean recommending that Mr. Bush veto any weakening of last year's law on military tribunals, as well as resisting any further delegation of executive power to the judiciary for approving warrantless wiretaps of al Qaeda.

The question of responding to the avalanche of subpoenas will be more politically delicate. Congress has every right to conduct oversight of the executive branch, and the White House will be obliged to supply numerous documents. However, the principle of executive privilege is vital to Presidential decision-making, and preserving the privacy of that deliberative process will be one of Mr. Fielding's primary tasks.

So let Rep. Henry "Nostils" Waxman and his merry band of litigious buffoons take their best shots.

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January 08, 2007

Who's Giving To Whom?

The following eight "high-profile" donors are listed as giving to various 2008 Presidential candidates (of both parties). The recipients are: John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, Tom Vilsack, Hillary Clinton, Wesley Clark, Barrack Obama, John Kerry and Joseph Biden.

Just for shits 'n giggles, guess who each of these donor's candidate of choice is (answers and link below the fold).

1.) Oliver Stone
2.) Cher
3.) Dennis Hopper
4.) Bill Gates
5.) Kris Kristofferson
6.) Kelsey Grammer
7.) Norman Lear
8.) Candice Bergen


Click "read more" to see how you did... more...

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Bad News: Bees

Tests have confirmed the presence of African Killer Bees in New Orleans. The city, still recovering from Katrina, is investigating this further.

Well, how long is it before the obvious question is raised: What did Bush know and when did he know it?

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