January 25, 2007

"Weekend At Bernie's": Havana Style

What is the status of dying dictator Fidel Castro these days? It's hard to get a fix with all these conflicting reports. But you just know that if Hugo Chavez is publicly upbeat then in reality things are probably not looking good.

Chavez said he was pleased to hear from Cuban Vice President Carlos Lage that the 80-year-old Cuban leader was making a recovery. Lage, after meeting with Chavez, said: "We will have Fidel and we will have Raul for a lot more time."

Their hopeful remarks came less than a week after Chavez said Castro was "battling for his life."

It reminds me of the mid-1980's when three Soviet leaders in a row took a turn for the worse after being diagnosed with "a bad cold".

It also reminds me of this famous sketch:

How long will it be before Chavez tries to assure us the Castro is merely pining for the fjords?

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January 18, 2007

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Listen, guys. Valentine's Day will be here before you know it. So if you're stumped for gifts this year, this clip from SNL may inspire, so...

One particular word makes it NSFW, so if you have headphones this would be time to use them.

h/t: Nick Schweitzer

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January 17, 2007

Reason No. 11,973 Why I Won't Get A Vasectomy

If it ain't foolproof, I will not allow sharp objects anywhere near my boys.

Surprise Chimp Born In Lousiana Sanctuary, despite all the males having been snipped!

Now managers at Chimp Haven are planning a paternity test for the seven males who lived in a group with Teresa, a wild-born chimpanzee in her late 40s who had the baby girl last week.

Workers have started collecting hair samples from the chimps for testing. Once they identify the father, it's back to the operating room for him.

The Chimp.jpg

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty humans!"

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January 12, 2007

Now That's A Lot Of Pussy

big kitty.jpg

Meet Goliath! Egads.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

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January 09, 2007

The Wrestling Match You'd Like To See

Rosie O'Doughnuts v. The Donald:

Go on, click on it. You know you want to.

h/t: HotAir

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January 02, 2007

Heroes Gone Wild

Superman's revelry on New Year's Eve gets slightly out of hand.

Superman drunk.jpg

The Man of Steel was spotted flying above the city of Rome wearing only a blonde wig, underwear and borrowed sneakers shouting "I'm King of the Word!"

A spokesperson for The Daily Planet had no comment.

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December 22, 2006

Happy "Life Day" To All

Some of you folks will remember this: The Star Wars Holiday Special. The rest of you will ask "WTF?".

Broadcast only one time at Christmas in 1978, this feature was once thought to have been destroyed by George Lucas. But many Bothan spies lost their lives to smuggle VHS copies out of Skywalker Ranch so that capitalist insurgents could sell them on eBay.

For those too young to have seen it, I recommend it for the sheer awfulness of this production.

Check out the intro here:

Who knew Chewbacca had a wife, a son who looked like a hairy Gary Coleman and a father who liked to watch holographic space porn?

And check out the guest star list: Bea Arthur, Art Carney, Diahann Carroll, Harvey Korman and...the Jefferson Starship? Oh yeah. It's that bad.

It's the kind of thing that almost makes you appreciate the crap they have on TV around the holidays these days. If you can get your hands on a copy, the vintage commercial breaks alone are worth the cost of shipping.

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December 20, 2006

In The Spirit Of The Holidays

One of my all-time favorite "South Park" moments. A big thank you to Steve the Llamabutcher for finding it.

Merry F@$#ING Christmas, y'all!

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December 19, 2006

"There's No Need To Fight Evil When Appeasement Will Do Just Fine."

David Zucker comes up with another classic - comparing James Baker to Neville Chamberlain. The whole negotiation bit with Ahmadinejad would be hilarious if it weren't so damn serious.

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November 20, 2006

The Sorting Hat Speaks

bush putin robes.jpg

"Heh. You got Hufflepuff, pootie-poot! Only two kinds of wizards in Hufflepuff, steers and queers. I don't see any horns on you, hoss..."

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November 02, 2006

Evolution Explained In One Minute

I saw this on "South Park" last night but somehow it just seems funnier this morning. Hat Tip to Allahpundit for finding the YouTube clip. No matter where you stand on evolution, you should get a good chortle from this. It really does present Darwin's theory in an interesting light.

Nothing profane but it is after all "South Park", so don't go boosting them speakers too loud at work if ya know what I mean.

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October 20, 2006

Now That's Creative

GWB singing "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"

Hanging out with Bono must be rubbing off on him.

h/t: KLO at The Corner

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October 10, 2006

Dems' Foreign Policy Legacy

As presented by David "Scary Movie" Zucker:

The RNC will certainly distance themselves from this. But, damn, it's funny.

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Waaay Too Funny Not To Share

Star Wars parody - Palpatine kicking back in his office with his subordinates. I suspect the voice is Seth McFarlane from Family Guy. Sounds a little like Glen Quagmire.

I swear I damn near wet myself over this one.

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September 29, 2006

"No More Yankie My Wankie..."

yankee.jpg

...The Donger need food!

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September 25, 2006

Meme: You Know You've Reached Middle Age, When...

I got tagged with this one, so here goes...

- you take several days before you accept the premise that you are actually middle-aged before you agree to do this meme...

- you've learned to walk through your house while looking down to avoid stepping on stray lego pieces...

- you didn't even know that Saturday Night Live was still on the air...

- the only reason you've heard of the band Bowling For Soup is because you just love that song "1985"...

- when they card you for beer at the supermarket check-out, it makes your week.

That's all for me. So let's see. Now I'm tagging GroovyVic, Steve and Robbo (the Llama Butchers) and Rick, The Real Ugly American.

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September 24, 2006

I Have To Wonder...

...Did Bubba's face get this flushed just before he stained Monica's blue dress?

bc2.jpg

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September 22, 2006

Head-Turning Headline Of The Week

SCHWARZENEGGER GIVES UP HUMMERS

And it's not even Lent.

Seems to me that this headline could just as easily have been reported in 1986, albeit in a different context.

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September 18, 2006

Islamic Extremists' Rage-Ometer

Kudos to John at Wuzzadem:

islamicextremistsrageometer.jpg

Just too much good stuff out there today to post anything original.

h/t: the Llamas

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Look At These Little Buggers

Squirrels using the force...

squirrels with light sabers.jpg

Smile. It's Monday.

h/t: AnalogKid

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